Divorce is often a traumatizing and difficult process for children. They generally have no choice in the matter and little if any control. The breaking of your marriage is a sudden tide they are unable to resist, carrying them away in an eddy of scary changes.
As a result, they may experience psychological consequences like anger and separation anxiety that may manifest as regressive behavior. a decline in school performance, social withdrawal and more. There are actions you may take to help your children adjust to and cope with their new circumstances.
1. Allow them to feel
Encourage them to be honest. Do not invalidate them or tell your children what they are feeling or need to feel. If their personality and behavior undergo sudden alterations, be patient and understanding since they may be from emotions they do not know how to release. Instead of scolding and yelling, teach them how to let them out through healthy avenues like discussion. Provide support and an attentive ear.
2. Maintain as much consistency as possible
While your first instinct may be to be lenient and relax rules, this may do the opposite of what you desire. Children crave structure and consistency, especially in times of great upheaval. Since one parent is gone, they may harbor fears you will likewise leave them. Keeping the same guidelines in place and acting as normally as possible reassures them and grants them a sense of stability.
3. Seek counsel for them
You may exhaust all options besides this. There is a point where the mental effects of the divorce are so severe your children simply need it. There is no shame in therapy.
Being patient, avoiding unnecessary changes and getting them the aid they need may help your children cope with their new reality.