How can I co-parent with my narcissistic ex?

On Behalf of | Oct 16, 2022 | Children And Divorce/Child Custody

Figuring out parenting after divorce is difficult, but if your ex is a narcissist the situation might seem impossible. Narcissists often like to manipulate situations to maximize their own gain, and involving your children in this is especially draining and hurtful.

Thankfully, there are mechanisms within the family court system that can help make co-parenting with a narcissist bearable. According to Healthline, legal parenting plans and guardian ad litems can help you successfully parent with a narcissistic ex-partner.

A legal parenting plan

When working with a narcissist, you will want to make sure that you have all agreements related to parenting down in writing and overseen by the court. This way, when your ex tries to manipulate the situation, you will be able to turn to the court. The court will then enforce the original agreement, no matter what your ex tries to do.

Things to involve in a legal parenting plan may include visitation schedules, medical costs, schooling agreements and more. Make everything detailed and clear, so your ex cannot “lawyer” the document.

Guardian ad litem

This is a person the court appoints to make sure to keep the “best interest” of your child forefront. Depending on the situation, the court may order a guardian ad litem to be a part of the post-divorce agreement, or you may choose to request one yourself.

The guardian will become familiar with your children and your situation. They will then make suggestions to the court based on their observations. This can prevent a narcissist from invoking a “he-said-she-said” situation in court.

Parenting is challenging: raising children with a narcissist is more so. However, there are court-based options available to help you with this process.