It is likely that your divorce is a result of many differing opinions between you and your ex-spouse. If you are managing a joint custody situation with your ex, it is almost inevitable that different parenting styles will cause conflict, even in amicable situations.
It is important to recognize that this conflict does not have to be all-consuming, and there are ways to manage it and benefit your children at the same time. According to the Child Mind Institute, it is paramount for parents to remain flexible with each other in order to come to the solution that is best for the children.
Many parents find that divorce exacerbates their parenting style issues. In many cases, one parent may have been more “passive” with parenting when married. However, after divorce, the passive parent may start to assert more opinions. Common issues include arguments over schools, religious issues and medication for conditions like ADHD.
If both parents are steadfast in their disagreement, this is bad for the child. For instance, if one parent wants to medicate a child’s ADHD but the other is against it, it is difficult to get accurate data on what is the best course of action. Parenting is give-and-take, and both parents should “back-burner” their opinions to test the other parent’s approach. Otherwise, the child will continue to suffer due to not getting the treatment (or non-treatment) that he or she needs to thrive.
You and your ex must actively want to find a middle ground when it comes to parenting. Remember, this is not a battle of wills: it is a search to act in your child’s best interest.